i'm sitting here just thinking about my life and what it is that i need to accomplish. i have set goals for myself and i will achieve them, but it's the journey that i worry about. i cant just jump without looking. i have to process things and weigh out the pros and cons dogg. i feel like lately everything has been falling a part. i haven't been poetic or even artistic lately. my life is art, music is my inspiration, so what's wrong with me? i haven't come to a decision yet...the good news is that i got a job finally and things are kind of turning around. i would love to say that i have all these people backing me, but to be honest i don't. i have a few people behind me and i'm learning that's all i need. i'm so sick of all the bullshit that is around me. i'm not gonna sugar coat shit either. everything that i've tried to build has fallen a part and for what? to let people in long enough to hurt me. i don't appreciate being lied to, which is ridiculous. how can you lie to someone that is there, someone that can see you, and most importantly someone that knows when she's bein lied to. point made?
i hope so.
now, my current struggle is probably out in the open cuz i can't really trust someone that i trusted with it...it's cool though...i didn't expect much else. there's a reason why friendship doesn't come easy, and why i don't have many "friends". i'm learning that what it takes to be me is effortless because i wake up me and live MY life everyday...it must be amazing because other people are trying it lately. please don't intrude on my life and my passion..i'm about done with it. i can't take much more of this ridiculous behavior. it's time for me to grow up and surround myself with grown ups and i don't mean that i'm not still me and fun and shit..i mean that i'm done with immature bullshit. it's good though people, i have who i need and i'm makin cuts where they need to be.
the most amazing thing that i can say right now is that i'm centered and i know who really knows and cares about me. i'm good.
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